pretty bitch.

the time is now pretty little bitches. the time is now.today i give myself permission to be selfish. to seriously start living for myself. because as much as i try to, i always wind up worrying to much about other people's feelings...
and what they are doing and not enough about myself. to a point where it is not vain- i, for now, am taking up the all about me routine.

i fucking see it done all the time and usually it pisses me off because i'm like hayyy!! over here, let me in your life you asshole!so none of that. no more over thinking and just doing. going with my gut and deciding based on intuition and not too much on the pros & cons.
i can figure that out as i go along. so i am setting myself free to chose to do the things i want to do, to seek opportunities that i might miss if i am not paying attention, and in return ability to reject things i DON'T want to do.
i want to prosper in music because it simply feels so right. i enjoy every moment of singing and struggling with the guitar. but i just have this intuitive thought that i should inquire this as a part of my future.
i will also have a full album worth of songs one day. i already have a ton of lyrics. because thats what i do, i write, and i love music. so i need to find someone to collaborate with to make sweet music.
and i will write a book. in fact i have already started it. this has been a very forceful feeling of something i MUST do. it will be a tell all book. a bit of an autobiography from "daddy's perfect little girl... and her unexposed ugly truths."
it will be intense, so i will have to figure out how to go about it. because as a self proclaimed writer with no degree, i'll need to think cautiously about what i say. i think i can help people if i ever finish the book one day.
i really do.

FAST GENERATiON.

::::I CAN'T HELP iT, I'M DREAMiNG OF A BiGGER LiFE::::

" Im selfish, Impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell dont deserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe

I think it's okay to want to make a difference. I think it's okay to express yourself in a world where people rarely do. I think it's okay to screw up too many times to count, but to learn from each mistake. I think it's okay to put yourself out there, even if you look stupid. I think it's okay to be a kid at heart. I think it's okay to let people see your weird side. I think it's okay to let people see your creative side. I think it's okay to think beyond your years. I think it's okay to still feel hurt by people who have betrayed you. I think it's okay to want someone to miss you. I think it's okay to be fearlessly independent. I think it's okay to feel too much. I think it's okay to want to be alone for hours to just think, just breathe, just be you. I think it's okay to listen to your favorite song on repeat until it's not your favorite song anymore. I think it's okay to consider coffee a 2 times a day thing. I think it's okay to truly NOT give a fuck what people think about you. I think it's okay to believe in love despite a broken heart. I think it's okay to have confidence in the unknown, simply to know that your life will be more than okay, but that it will be beautiful.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." -Jack Kerouac

"breathe in with love, breathe out with hate.

live for the moment, embrace your fate

breathe in with courage, breathe out with fear.

don't loose your soul, the future is here"*

"The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to discover places no one has ever been before. Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties; For peculiarity breed contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of your time is that when people finally realize you were right, they'll say it was obvious all along.You have two choices in life: you can dissolve into the mainstream or you can be distinct. To be distinct, you must be different. To be different, you must strive to be what no one else but you can be."

I want to be anything but average. I am anything but ordinary. I have faith that I can do huge things. I don't listen to other people's advice, unless I ask for it. Because honestly, most people don't know how to live their own life either.

"been dreaming of blue skies, new horizons and sights for my eyes,

the discovery of the unknown, something to tell the folks back home,

i want to get away, to feel the sun on my skin, to feel it really sinking in"- la roux

journal begins...

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

-E.W. Wucox

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love"

"if you're lucky enough to be different from everyone else....don't change to be the same"

"& This above all: to thine own self be true." ~ William Shakespeare

Last summer I spent a month in Europe & 6 weeks at an acting intensive in LA at The New York Film Academy (Universal Studios location). It was a life changing summer, where I truly aspired to become an actress one day & believe in the power of my dreams. I returned to college at the University of Arizona in the fall for my Sophomore year. However, the inspiration and passion I had discovered could not be lived as a college student. Recently I have decided to move to Los Angeles- FINALLY. In July, I will be a full time student at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. & before I begin this new chapter in my life, I want to reflect on the past year through my personal journal. My journal started as something random to remember all these great moments. Somehow it ended up as an artistic personal reflection so I figured I would share (well not everything...) but a pretty good insight into the life of a girl with ambitions. It was a year full of many life lessons & how I got steered back on this path-- the pursuit of happiness & my dreams.