My Blog List

Sep 26, 2013

beautiful people do not just happen.

"the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known, suffering, known STRUGGLE, known LOSS, and have found their way out of the depths. these persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. beautiful people do not just happen." -Elisabeth Ross

i know i've posted the first quote before. it's just too perfect.

Sep 24, 2013

Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks



duet with my brother. coming to you soon.

straight from my journal.

... but today, i felt happy. and that feeling doesn't happen often. so it's worth recording because it's a beautiful feeling.

 i have a beautiful home. today i am grateful. today i am hopeful.
 & i try my best to remember this...

Sep 18, 2013

was it ever worth it?

needed a song. this came on.



While we're on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear's door but you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last

Everyone's unhappy
Everyone's ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else's page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying yes, this is a fine promotion
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell

Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
We just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain
At least I'm pretty sure I am
Well we didn't need the water
But we just built that good God dam

Oh, and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We've listened more to life's end gong
Than the sound of life's sweet bliss

Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well we knew we missed the boat
And we'd already missed the plane
We didn't read the invite
We just dance at our wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves

stare blankly

i've considered many of times to just fucking start all over and begin a new blog. but i have a hard time betraying what was me, and the idea of not bringing you who i am.
we are drunk on the idea that love can and will save us. but what about when it doesn't? where do you turn? how do you move forward? how do you become okay with your brokenness? i think that is what we are all desperately searching for. if only i get this---- and then that---- but the thing is you cannot runaway from who you are, it will always catch up with you.

drunk on the idea that love, only love could heal our brokenness

"to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the BETRAYAL of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit BETTER. whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even ONE life breathed easier because YOU have lived. THIS is to have succeeded." -Emerson

"music is just a means of creating a magical state." -Robert Fripp

"i have always had a certain song in my head, a certain chemistry of sounds." -Bjork

"i just wanted a song to sing & there came a point where i couldn't sing anything... nobody else was writing what i wanted to sing. i couldn't find it anywhere. if i could i probably would never have started writing." -Bob Dylan

"basically, the whole world is doomed. so the way that i try to make it better... is by playing music that could be spiritually uplifting, that could put people in a positive state of mind. where they would have the energy to get up & do something, anything." -Red Hot Chili Peppers

"in the end i think of music as saving grace for all humanity." - Henry Miller