recently, i've felt like i should wear a sign on my forehead saying "i still don't know what i am doing with my life!!" the majority of my friends are going to be seniors (college) in the fall. for some reason, this always makes me feel a bit inferior. my mind spins off into tangents about how i will have never graduated from a "normal" college, or how i wasted 2 years at U of A with nothing to show for it, or blah di blah di shut the fuck up. i have to literally stop myself and accept that no time has been wasted. i've learned a whole lot throughout the past few years, regardless of the fact that it was not where i was meant to be. as i continue to live my day to day life, i am growing as a person and at 21 years young, i have more than my share of life experience. & letting by go of any shame or regret, i can reach back into my past and use it in my acting. everything_falls_into_place.
i'm one of those people who sincerely believe that "everything happens for a reason." i hate cliches, but this is the one worth holding onto.because after all those disappointments, we usually find ourselves in a much better place, most of it is timing and it's never fun when the waiting seems endless.
i guess what i'm getting at is this: i need to stop setting deadlines for failure. i'm never going to stop failing no matter how happy, scared, or lost i feel. but with every failure is something gained. you fail, you learn, and you move on. i know i will be okay because when i fail again, i will fail better.