today i give myself permission to be selfish. to seriously start living for myself. because as much as i try to, i always wind up worrying to much about other people's feelings...
and what they are doing and not enough about myself. to a point where it is not vain- i, for now, am taking up the all about me routine.
i fucking see it done all the time and usually it pisses me off because i'm like hayyy!! over here, let me in your life you asshole!
so none of that. no more over thinking and just doing. going with my gut and deciding based on intuition and not too much on the pros & cons.
i can figure that out as i go along. so i am setting myself free to chose to do the things i want to do, to seek opportunities that i might miss if i am not paying attention, and in return ability to reject things i DON'T want to do.
i want to prosper in music because it simply feels so right. i enjoy every moment of singing and struggling with the guitar. but i just have this intuitive thought that i should inquire this as a part of my future.
i will also have a full album worth of songs one day. i already have a ton of lyrics. because thats what i do, i write, and i love music. so i need to find someone to collaborate with to make sweet music.
and i will write a book. in fact i have already started it. this has been a very forceful feeling of something i MUST do. it will be a tell all book. a bit of an autobiography from "daddy's perfect little girl... and her unexposed ugly truths."
it will be intense, so i will have to figure out how to go about it. because as a self proclaimed writer with no degree, i'll need to think cautiously about what i say. i think i can help people if i ever finish the book one day.
i really do.
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