Unlearning the learned

hi lovely readers! I hope you know that knowing that people read this is my main reason to keep going. Otherwise, I would just tend to my journal at home and not bother. So whoever you are, you rockkkk.

Anyways, my mind has been literally so unfocused all week. Well, right now going to class is priority, so I have some focus there-- but it seems like when class is out, my mind goes whack. Do I do homework? Do I go out? Do I try to go to dinner with that one person I met from that one person who knows my friend from Nashville? (I made that up, but ya know weird sitchs)

(acting tidbit, skip if you could care less)

I think I'm also a bit restless, because I am use to acting classes that are way more on your feet. Always working, doing improve, scene work, monologues, so on. And yes I do this at my school, but right now we have so much learning we have to go through before we get there, I almost feel like I'm being punished haha even though I know its important.

For example, we have to take a class that is all about unlearning fixed habits. Which would also be known as bad posture. And we are also learning the IPA so we can all speak in a standard American accent, which YOU THINK WOULD BE EASY BUT ITS NOT. ahhhh

I am so frustrated with this class because I speak so weird, I have like a mix from my parents Northern roots, my Southern roots, habits I picked up from my generation, west coast lingo, and what I call "Samantha habits" which for my voice would be things I do that I don't know where i picked it up, like frying my words (raspy-ish) and terrible articulation.

Okay, this is such a boring blog post, but I think it has helped me understand why I have been so strange-- I'm basically being taught how to reverse all these habits, and it is fucking hard!!

mehhh, I'm posting a quote post next so you'll have something fun to read. xo